For christmas 2010 my lovely sister got me a journal that is now all but a few pages from complete. In moving back to Florida for my second year on dean staff I stumbled across the small faded leather book that had been neglected for three months. I opened it today to catch my future self up on life as of late.
I am very pro journals, Jessica said it like this "Keep track of your life, someday you may want to look back and find out how you got to where you'll be." I have been trying to follow your advice Jessica, and I am grateful i have done so.
August 2010 I asked Mr. David Snow for advice at my graduation day from the BI. As we watched my circle of friends laughing, embracing, and crying (at times all at once) he advised that I treasure these moments. For life is full of mountains and valleys and it is important to remember the mountain tops lest we despair in the valleys. For life is full of cycles.
Upon opening my journal I looked at the first page and saw a valley, but it was, strangely enough, a sweet realization. You see I have a tendency to forget where I have been so when I feel the despair of a Valley i often fear it will last forever and foolishly think it is the lowest I have ever been, but this is merely my nearsightedness deceiving me.
Here is the entry that reminded me of this...
"I am growing rapidly convinced that the world does not contain spiritual giants as we often think of them. The men we idolize, that surely could never fall, and surely never have a day when their perspective is obscured. And if I am wrong in my theory, this I know, if they do exist I am not one of them. (nor was David)
So what do I do with myself beginning to know well my limitations and also holding a confidence i posses far more wickedness that has yet to be revealed to me by the searching eyes of our loving savior?... All this to simply say, i feel we do our brothers a great injustice to ignore the valleys of great men of God. This is not to say I consider myself among them but if my story is ever told let it be known my weakness and fears are many, my days like Elijah under the juniper tree certainly have come in spite of great victories before hand. Not only am i made of dust , but fairly weak dust at that.
I have fainted amongst the footmen. I am not fit to be used and surly the Lord does not need me. But i pray He will use me, I pray he will accept the little i have to offer in my all and that he makes it into something that can reflect His glory.
I pray He teaches me to pray, to believe, to testify to of the God I serve. I am not fit for the task i have laid before me. God, i need you.
My name is Josiah James Brondyke. I am learning Spanish in Argentina, and today is not yet a mountain top."
Praise be to God that He chooses to use exceptionally weak dust, for his strength is made perfect in weakness. If you are on a mountain top, God is faithful praise Him. If you are in a valley, God is faithful praise Him still. He will not suffer you to be tempted more than you can bear, and He will never abandon you.
