It's just a year...

  My sister once wisely advised me to keep track of my life because its key to understanding how I got to where I am. I may have lost track of my life for a moment, so now as we near the end of this year I look back to see how  life has changed.

            C. S. Lewis expressed in his book The Screwtape Letters  that, “to be in time is to be subject to change.” I think my life has proven this proposition to be true. My life is not the same as I left it a year and a half ago when I boarded a plane for Argentina. I do not know that I fully understood when boarding it how greatly the decision to study overseas for a year would affect things. Now, ironically, as a young man born into a Midwest middle class white English speaking family, I at times find myself  speaking in broken awkward English phrases, and feel I could better express myself if only those around me spoke Spanish. As a 20 year old man I am suffering an identity crisis. The relationships in my life were stretched and tried, some strengthened others faded. Lastly, the paths of my life seem to have been uprooted and thrown over uncharted territory. I don’t regret it in the slightest. I believe I followed God to Argentina. So how did I get here? Easy, a decision was made to step out in faith, but what just happened and what all was affected I am still sorting out.

            I have always known who I am: a pastor’s son, a nice kid, an A/B student, a funny guy, generally loving and outgoing. So what happened to me? I feel as if to some degree I lost track of myself in Argentina, which in truth isn’t all bad. A cross cultural experience is a funny thing to describe to anyone who has never experienced one, but it certainly comes with its own unique set of challenges and learning moments. These heated tests and prolonged pressure have the opportunity to turn something more pure and useful, or burn and break it. At times its both. When I stepped into a different world the “me” I knew had stayed in North America. These people didn’t know him, and weren’t necessarily as impressed with this foreigner as he was with himself. One of the hardest aspects of living in a different culture is role reversal. I went from being a competent leader and an effective communicator to a lost kid who couldn’t speak. My pride took many a critical blow, and often left it nursing its wounds in my “cuarto” not as quick to throw itself out there as it had once been. “When not met with accolades why bother?” my heart of hearts muttered through gritted teeth that which my lips would never dare utter. It disturbed me to hear myself as my true colors shown.  Along with the revelation of this heart, of sin, I came to another daunting realization… not everyone is American; not everyone thinks, acts, and lives like me. For some, my big over the top American personality was a hard pill to swallow. Here went the chisel of the Lord, going to work on things as my pride and personality, while He opened up my world view, and as I changed.

            All this was taking place south of the equator, but what of those relationships and opportunities left in the United States? Surely the God who had held the sun in place for a day could halt the lives of my loved ones as I was not with them, so that I wouldn’t miss anything too important; after all it was only a year. However, the Lord had not made such promises to me, and so He did not keep them. The Lord led me to Argentina and that meant intrinsically that I was not anywhere but there. I was not with my loved ones I left behind. I was not able to keep perusing those relationships. Life in the US kept happening. Parties as well as funerals were missed, laughter as well as tears, victories as well as trials. My sister, who is one of my closest friends in the whole world, is now engaged, and I missed all of her dating relationship with Dan, her fiancé. I missed the getting to know each other phase, the giddy about it phase, and the praying seriously about it phase. I just simply wasn’t there. ..not for their relationship to develop nor to cultivate my own. I had it very much in my heart to pursue a precious friend of mine, but moving to Argentina halted those plans. Try as I did I was not able to be with her while I was in Argentina. We weren’t able to “be together” with an ocean between us. Being together I have found is crucial when you are considering marrying someone. My relationships were stretched and tested by distance and a lack of communication as life continued happening to everyone regardless of their location. Some strengthened some gave way.  In those same months new relationships were built as well. (often that is how life works) I can now happily say by the grace of God I have dear friends and brothers from South and Central America. Lucas, Ruth, Emmanuel, and Gaston just to name a few are all friends dear to me that I will forever count as my brothers and sisters.

            Once my personality was shaken, my relationships were altered, and I already had “given” my things, my location, and my nonexistent wealth for the sake of following Him, what more did He desire? In the process of dying to self and learning to let Christ live through me He is redefining everything. So there I stood, very unstable. What was left? Simply my plans. From an early age I had always felt I was going to spend my life in the ministry. Outside of that I felt that I would spend it somewhere where they spoke English. I was certain God had not designed me to learn languages. But God has uprooted the certainty of my plans and future projections and scattered them across the map. It’s strange to think that one decision can change the course of your life so considerably. After my time in Argentina I am considering church planting overseas or Spanish ministry in the United States. He has proven to me truly all things are possible with Him. In light of that truth, I pray the next time I hear the whisper of His will I will be all the quicker to follow His leading.

            So yes, it was only a year, but in this ever changing world it affected me greatly. Some things were gained, some things were lost, and others were simply changed. But I would not change the decision I made for the world. There were difficult moments and challenges and even consequences to following Him, but the reward is far greater.  Philippians 3:7-8 “But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ.”

How to Hold Your Plans

Working as a dean of men at a Bible college I see many students minds filled with questions. When your life is coming to fruition in one or four year segments the question often arises, “what is the will of God concerning…” This seems to be a theme for all those in colligate studies. These young hopefuls have looming over them this daunting task of making plans that alter the course of their lives. This task is made all the more difficult because our worlds are so subject to change and in that so are our plans. So, not only is there the task of making your plans, an equally daunting task is how one ought to hold these plans. Some students have a 10 and 20 year plan for their lives and yet others are doing well to have the next 20 minutes planned out. Whatever your personality tends to, be it a four year plan or a four meal plan it is important how you hold your plans. In my limited experience up till now I have seen three ways to hold ones plans: not holding any, squeezing them tightly, or holding them loosely.

            For some when asked, “Where you headed?” or “Where do you want to see yourself in ten years?” if plans to run away to Never Never land don’t come through the honest answer in their minds is they have no idea. This type of plan holder is not big on plan B’s, or plan A’s for that matter. This is the first category not holding anything. Because this trend is so common we have almost tried to make it trendy and spiritual. Some feel that your hands must be empty for the Lord to fill them so they keep their slate completely clean not wanting to commit to anything waiting on the day the Lord makes vividly clear there purpose for that chapter of life. I once spoke to a man in the park who told me adamantly, “I wouldn’t be caught dead with a plan.” I respect this man greatly and I understand that the Lord can speak very clearly at times in our lives, but it has become the opinion of some that it is a carnal manifestation of pride to have any plan at all. I don’t know that we need be so drastic. If we are honest with ourselves the simple fact of the matter is we must plan to some degree. My friend in the park surely had at least enough plan that day to get his entire family loaded into the car and to the park. Plans are a part of life and we are better off when we stop trying to deny it. One can only fly so far flying by the seat of his pants. Yes we must wait on the Lord, but that need not mean that we be inactive and directionless. We see even in Jesus parables that when He left his servants with talents he expected them to take the initiative to invest them well.

            Next there are those who hold on tightly. They have all their weeks, day, and hours down to a T. These people love to be in control and when they get their mind set on a plan they must see it come to pass, there is no other option. These are often the organized worrieres that always make things happen. They are big dreamers and they carry big planners. They feel it is all part of their stewardship in redeeming the time to have every passing moment panned and used to its fullest potential. In the most drastic cases when someone is “holding on tightly” and a plan falls through, they have a nervous breakdown. If it is a less advanced case of hold-it-tight-anitous at the very least are thoroughly annoyed. If there was ever a category I am not found in it is this one. My Grandmother however can plan with the best of them. She can organize a musical and a five course meal in the same evening, but she unlike her young grandson she has more difficult rolling with the punches. A risk these plan holders face is they often begin to identify themselves in their plans and they feel they fall with their plans should the plans fall through.

            The final category, I believe the Lord is teaching me, is to “hold them loosely.” One may and ought to have plans from time to time but we ought also expect change. Looking at life we make the best choices we can and then we rest knowing we did all we could that day to use it for the Lord. This person has a plan but is not surprised when things get shaken up. Truth be told I first saw this life style in the ministry of Paul the Apostle. When he was departing on his second missionary journey his goal was to minister to the churches in northern turkey, because he saw a good ministry opportunity there, and a need he could fill. So he began to move in that direction. He was in route when the Lord spoke to him in a vision giving him the call to Macedonia, a change of plans. He readily accepted and the Lord blessed his ministry for it. Looking at life as a blank page, if you’re holding loosely, you do not fight the Lord for the right to hold the pen, or the eraser. You have a direction, you have a good sensible goal, but you are also ready to move at the voice of the master where ever He may call.

            Plans are an inevitable part of life even for the believer. How we hold them greatly affects our experience. So look at your plans, are your hands empty lacking direction or initiative? Are your fists clenched around the plans because you have already decided what you want to take place in your life? Or are you holding your plans loosely, ready to work to the best of your knowledge, but ready to accept that the Lord’s plan is greater than your own.

Thankful

This past quarter I have been taking classes online. While this has been an interesting balancing act between deaning, life, the Christmas show here, and school, it has forced me to sit down and write for my various classes. I have found that I truly do like writing, but also that I would much rather share my thoughts while friends and family rather that just with my professors. So since I am on break now and have a little time for editing I thought I would throw some up on here to share. This is a discussion board from my teaching class the week after thanksgiving. Our prompt was, "what are you most thankful for this week?" I didn't just wanting to throw out something stereotypical but rather focus on a truth God was blessing me with in that time. So if you have five minutes here is a little nugget to chew over.

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My heart sank into my stomach as it dawned on me that it was officially Thursday. I was standing back stage in full costume and makeup for a presentation Word of Life Bible Institute does to share the gospel. (The Sights and Sound of Christmas) It was the second presentation of the day. Friday we were scheduled to have two more and Saturday as well. The day of the week can be easy to lose track of at word of life, and the news came as such an unwelcomed revelation because  with the online classes I am taking, homework is due Saturdays at midnight. My normal routine has been making Fridays evenings and Saturdays homework days and getting my work done just as the clock strikes midnight. With work and the shows home work had not happened. I hadn't even taken time to check what my assignments were much less do them. My situation looked bleak. Perhaps passing college courses isn’t all its cracked up to be, I could always preach the gospel and panhandle…. Don’t need a degree for that.
Ok maybe I am being dramatic but at that moment I didn’t think I would prove to be possible to accomplish all I had before me at that moment.

I want to pause for a moment and clarify, life is good! There is no question about that. Life is full of wonderful blessing from an incredible God I simply don’t deserve:

My salvation
my family (my sister is engaged! And i had gotten to be with my family in Atlanta for Thanksgiving day!)
the gospel was being preached and God was using me in it, even if it be a small part
I have rich Christian fellowship
my job is surreal
I have my health and wits more often than naught
my faith leads to actual peace and Joy found in the source of all such things as I seek Him
awesome roommates
working with awesome guys
I enjoy life
I sing ok
I can speak Spanish pretty well
I been have been in God honoring relationships as of late and I don’t have regrets
God is patient with me
A rich Christian heritage
opportunities to be used
I am accepted in the Beloved

And many other blessings… None of which I accomplished or I deserved

but at that moment I was overwhelmed. I did have time for anything I didn’t have enough energy to enjoy the blessing or thank Him properly.

I sat in the dark of back stage right and just took a moment with Jesus mid-show. Thinking of a Psalm I had just read, in which the last verse after talking about the strength of the Lord was a request for strength for the psalmist, I thought a similar prayer, and sang in my head the song I've been mulling over lately. “give me strength, to trust what you say. That your real, and your spirits strong in me…”

I left it there in the hands of the Lord and went on with the show.

So after the shows finished and I had dinner and did some deaning I pulled out my laptop flipping it on. The fan started to whir and the screen came slowly to light. When I pulled open my weekly assignments I dreaded what i might find. However, I found a work load for that week relatively small and very managable.

God considers me! In the big and small, He is considerate of me.  “For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.?”
Ps 103:14

God knows I am nothing more but dust. He is not suprised in the least bit when my strength fails me. He even knows exactly what grade of dust I am. (which is apparently not all that strong of dust) And He is unbothered by it!

God gave me a small work load this week because He knew I needed it. Because He goes before me and blazes a trail, even though He forever walks with me!

He knows how weak I am and for that I am grateful. I know He has plenty to carry His children forward as they rest in Him. God did not need me to hold him up. For that I am very grateful, a forever powerful God who takes time to consider me.

Praise the Lord!

 

The Harvest

         “The harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few. So, pray to the Lord of the harvest that He would send out laborers into his harvest field.” Jesus said these words to his disciples as he looked down over the multitudes flowing out of the city to come hear the message. He saw into every heart, every life, every hurt. It was for these, that He had come to die. I cannot help but wonder if in his omniscience, as he pleaded for his disciples to pray that God would send out workers to meet these needs, if he was not also looking forward to the countless lives of saints who would be the answer to those prayers. I wonder if as his heart broke for those standing before him on the sandy hills out stretching before his eyes if his heart was not also churned for those standing before him across the planes of time. Was He comforted to see those faithful followers who through courses of history would give their everything to attend to the Father’s harvest, smiling thinking of them? Did His burden grow again looking forward to the great number of those who would claim his name but never interest themselves in His work, never setting their hands to the plow?
            The Lord has been teaching me much about His heart for the harvest over these past years. I am now aware I have spent the bulk of my years, though they be few, missing it. I think far too often Satan too easily blinds my eyes to the work the Lord desires to be doing in the world today. Sadly I find this too often to be the case. Oh that the Lord would open our eyes to the work that is on His heart.  That we would begin to redeem the time! That the church would not remain dormant any longer, but that we would go out as the Lord intended. God has been showing me that what the Church carries out is too often not all that He calls it to.

            The Lord has spent some large amount of time teaching me this rather simple truth. He has revealed it to me gradually as I have traveled these past few years. I remember vividly my trip to the Dominican Republic in 2010. It was my first time leaving the United States to a country that speaks a language different then my own. As the plane lowered into the capital city, I knew I was entering into a different world. I fell in love with the people there and wanted more than anything to share the hope I carried with them. I can still remember vividly the trips we took down dusty roads to the poor outlying sugarcane villages. The faces of these precious people I will forever carry with me in my mind. One one such face was a young woman carrying a little baby boy; she pleaded with us for just a little food for she and her family hadn’t eaten in days. We were given specific instruction what we could and could not do from the national missionaries to avoid conflicts amongst the villagers and to not make them too dependant on those there on short term missions. One of these instructions was not to share of the food that we had packed away in the bus for our lunches for fear that it would cause dissension amongst the people if it didn’t reach to all of them. So we offered what we could. We unloaded from the greyhound and with lots of enthusiasm and lots of hand motions played with the filthy yet beautiful children. Many had little clothing; missing some vital articles of clothing you would never imagine seeing a youngster without in the states. One little boy (completely naked) had gotten knocked over in the game and began to weep. I came to him and picked him up holding him out from me at arms length to see what the damage had been. I looked at his right ear and saw it was terribly infected a white puss flowed from it and had hardened more than once without being tended. I thought of the risks of catching the infection but no sooner had the thought crossed my mind that the Lord convicted me taking my mind to the times he touched the lepers in love. Would I be one that held the world at arm’s length or one that would draw them into Christ’s love? I held the small child tight to my chest his precious little head nestled in alongside my ear. God was changing me.

             We loaded back into the tour bus and as the small village vanished into the fields that surrounded it the Lord brought to me the understanding that it was not these peoples poverty that was tragic but rather their spiritual state. The need for a Pauline ministry was evident in my eyes. Someone needed to go village to village and establish churches and teach these people how to live out the Christian life not just share the gospel. The people had already been evangelized but they needed to be shepherded. I sheepishly told the Lord I was willing, but it seemed impossible that the Lord would ever send me to this ministry. We then went into the capital city and the normal parts of town were worse than much of the slums of the United States, but still in comparison to the villages we had visited the day before these people lived in great wealth. The churches we visited were relatively healthy and they were sustained in their current ministries. It became evident to me that these people were the answer to this prayer for church planters, but I did not speak with a single person that shared a vision for the harvest field sitting just miles from the city limits. The harvest was plentiful but the workers were few.
            My week in the Dominican lead me to a year in Argentina to learn the Spanish language so that I would be more equipped to be sent. My time there holds many distinguishing memories and defining moments. One such a moment came in one of my first trips to the capital, Buenos Aries. The expanse between what the Church is, and what it is called to be gaped in front of me again. Surrounding the Plaza de Mayo stand all the buildings that represent power and influence in Argentina: the pink house, the congress building and many other concrete giants.  Among them there is the spectacular Catholic cathedral. It is not merely a building or place of worship; it is art. But no matter how lovely it may be there was something troubling beneath the splendid architecture. Under its painted elaborate ceiling knelt a very few worshipers. Grand steps lead up to the cathedral and most that are coming and going are tourists coming to see art. I am sure to them the many homeless that have taken residence on the doorsteps of the church are a great inconvenience to them in their pursuit of beauty. However this is the less lovely reality of the situation. It seemed that neither those within or without were finding what they sought. Some sought peace with God, which can never be attained by adherence to a religion. Some sought compassion and a little food to fill their bellies, which was rarely seen in the bustle of the city. Was this not the harvest field? As I passed by, feelings of conviction overcame me once again. What could I say, my Spanish was too limited to explain the truth I carried? What could I do, my selfishness was too great to give more than 10 pesos and a track in Spanish I have crammed in my pocket?  I had with me about 200 pesos for the day for souvenirs and food for myself I considered giving it to them, but how could I trust that they wouldn’t misuse it? Was this even for me to ask? Where was the compassion Christ demonstrated to the masses? There were disconnects here, lots of them.
            It is easy to see and criticize these inconsistencies and faults that lie in others thousands of miles away.  Perhaps the most troubling inconsistency I see, I see in my own life. I can say I have vision for the world, wanting to change it for the better, but what good are ones claims if his vision does not even reach across the street he grew up on? It is easy to find “compassion” for the needy children seen on television commercials. Easy to think things along the lines of, “that is terrible” or “something needs to be done,” while remaining unchanged, but true compassion must lead to action. How often do the churches in the world today ignore the needy present on their very doorstep? How often are the opportunities just outside the city limits left unrealized?  How is it that believers are so often blinded to the field in which they stand? How long will it continue? Oh that the Lord would open eyes.

Nonsensical Edification

                 My hair was beyond disheveled from my hands consistently running through it as I tore cross campus in a race against time, and pitched in battle with myself. Still breathing hard as I reached my office, I crumpled to the ground allowing my body to become deadweight as I simply gave up.  The time stained rough carpet that has been in my office long before it become “mine” pressed firmly into my fore head. I looked pathetic, but I didn’t care in the slightest. I was beyond caring. A kind of guttural groan escaped from my throat as I knew I should have been starting a prayer. But to say what?! Part of me wanted to weep, and part of me could feel the foolishness of my desperation. Dying to oneself is a hard pill to swallow.

                I could paint the portrait of unfortunate events, wrong thought patterns, wrong attitudes, and deferred hopes that brought me to my knees that night, but they are not the point. They rarely are. What mattered was I had reached the nadir of my current valley. It was not a particularly deep valley or drastic situation, simply more than I could handle on my own, and I had been trying too long. The beautiful thing about valleys is that in their very nature as we pass through them, they are passed. After the lowest points things always rise. Out of my mouth escaped a simple prayer: “In my distress I cried unto the LORD, and he heard me.” (Psalm120:1) The Lord always hears and takes interest in me, but on occasions he has opened my eyes to see his unlikely angels of encouragement as what they are, his instruments in my life, blessings. This night was such a night.
                As I finished my prayer, I rose slowly to my feet. I felt the kind of emotional numbness that often follows such purging times. I was tired, but I now knew I could go forward to the tasks at hand, the Lord with me rather than opposing me. I sat down at my desk. My desk was mildly cluttered as the desk of a first year employee filling a role too large for the sum of his years should be. I have been told I am mature for my age not that I’ve matured; I feel my desk reflects that. I pulled my English text book out of my black backpack and placed it on my desk. English Comp 1 was at that moment what my hands found to do and so I did my best to do it hardily.
                About an hour and a half into the effort three of the students I am discipling popped their heads into my office to check on my emotional state, knowing I was trying to plow through my school work, catching up from starting behind. The largest of the three, a young man named Brice who will probably singlehandedly change the world in the course of his lifetime, walked over to where I was folded into the couch where I had migrated with my laptop. He, without a word, bent over and proceeded to pick me up trying to carry me out the door. Now, Brice is a good ol’ boy. He had plenty of physical strength from growing up on a farm. At the same time I myself am no small fellow and an awkward struggle ensued that I’m sure would have been quite humorous to passer-byers, that is, should my office have been the type of office that could have passer-byers. However within my small windowless office no one outside the unfortunately pink tinted walls could see as the three of them tried to persuade me to abandon my work for just a moment to run to the Duncan Donuts on 19 just a few minutes from campus. Brice is a salesman if I ever saw one, and when he believes in something he will back it with all his heart. He’d already rallied the allegiance of many churches and schools to support Care4Aids, a missions organization Brice believes quite strongly in. This night Brice believed quite strongly that I needed to take a break. It took all my powers of persuasion to finally convince them that I wouldn’t be able to leave and that it was for the best of everyone if I stayed. They filed out and I got back to focusing on what I had to be doing.
                I knew I needed to plow forward in my work. I knew I had to be disciplined. I knew I had to ignore my emotional state. I knew there was work to be done.

               Another 20 minutes passed as I trudged through the mountains of sentences to diagram and authors to analyze that lay ahead of me. Then without any warning, or precautionary knock of any type my door flew open once again. In walked the three amigos with four cups of Duncan Donuts coffee. A defeated smile crept across my face, and I welcomed them in. Alex plopped down on the old green couch that had been dragged in for times such as these, Jarren took my co-worker Eric’s swiveling desk chair, and Brice assumed command of my desk placing his size 12 work boot on the couch. I looked up from the ground where I had landed sprawled out with my laptop and book work. The conversation that followed was not particularly profound, and our topics were not world shaking. We unanimously decided that Brice had no childhood because he did not know of power rangers. Then Jarren wielding an expo marker and an imagination turned on Eric’s to do list. After the group decided that Eric planned to clone himself, buy two donuts, find a wife, and move to Yemen, the conversation turned to the center of the room as the topics bounced off the walls in such a way that surely can only be produced by young 20 somethings that have plenty of potential, big hopes, and probably still too much youthfulness in them for their own good.

                As I looked at the three of them God began to open up my eyes and I began to marvel. Jarren has the heart of a pastor and much of his father’s wisdom. Alex under his mess of un-kept hair and glasses has an incredible mind and a beaming spirit. Brice as I already mentioned will probably either save the world or conquer it by the age of 30. I smiled just simply enjoying the simplicity of fellowship. We are still far from perfectly lovely or worth dying for, but it was for us unimpressive, imperfect, inconsistent, immature persons that Christ died. We were completely and totally accepted in the beloved just as we were. At our weakest moments, He still rejoices over us with singing. When we are fickle and human, His thoughts toward us are still innumerable. That is reality. I can’t explain how, but God used that time to bring me into appreciation of this truth. To me it was nonsensical, because it was not penciled into my to-do list, but the Lord knew it was exactly what I needed. It was not in a sermon, not in exhortation that brought me to this truth. Yes, both certainly have their time and place, but perhaps also there is a time and place for nonsensical edification.

Another Update

Wow…. Four and a half months have passed and I can hardly believe how the time has flown. Hmmm sooo much life has transpired it hard to think about.

Yesterday my facebook informed me that two years ago I had written
“starting my first year of real normal school… well, as real and as normal as Word of Life can be”

one year ago it read...

“Spanish not yet great, learning very slowly, but hey I’ve been to Buenos Aries twice and that’s pretty cool!”

Now I am starting my year on staff at Word of Life Florida, a completely different chapter that looks entirely different... full of new blessings and challenges.

But so many things have happened along the way, it would certainly be impossible to catch you up on everything, but however I do feel like if you have been supporting me with your prayers and you care enough to try to keep track of me, it’s safe to say you deserve an update.

Since you received the last update and prayer request…

My last two and a half months in Argentina were such a rich time of blessing. By far my favorite of all the time I spent in Argentina when I got involved in my local church every weekend and got to see the small church grow and new kids hearing the gospel. By God’s grace, I grew so much more confident with my Spanish in that time and the Lord grew me so much in a lot of ways. I was able to open the word with the youth group from time to time and continue in a handful of discipleship relationships. Just to see the beautiful and very imperfect bride of Christ functioning, I truly fell even more in love with it. God continued through my last few months to grow my heart toward church planting although I do not know what the Lord has planned, I am truly excited to see Him work.

“For his thoughts are not our thoughts and his ways are not our ways”… I’m excited to see it.

I made some dear, dear friends that I hated to leave behind in the Bible institute there in Argentina. We grew together as brothers in the body, learning from our differences: different stories, backgrounds, personalities, cultures, and languages...but all brought together in Christ.

“The ground is level at the foot of the cross.”

I ended up leaving Argentina two weeks early to take part in a mission’s trip with Student Fusion (a short term missions branch of Word of Life) but wanting to finish the course well, I crammed, studying my last week in the country to take a couple final exams on classes I had yet to take…. It was a fun week =]

Goodbyes were in a sense a blessing. How rich we are to say we have people we miss and who will miss us as we part. I was so struck by the generosity of my brothers I meet as they were quick to try to give me anything I had complimented.

“Everyman is my teacher.”

I had the strange and wonderful opportunity to attend a pastors conference during my last weekend before I left Argentina. It was put on by Woodstock Church of Georgia, which Ironically was the same church putting on the conference in the Dominican republic the night before I made the decision to go to Argentina. Johnny Hunt had spoken and God really broke me. Now sitting at another conference, in another country, Woodstock randomly came. It was a church planting seminar and through the different speakers God took me through the last few years of my life and gave me the huge blessing of allowing me to see His guiding hand. ...that perhaps He truly does have a plan in all He has been working in my life. How silly that we forget so quickly the truths like, “I know the plans I have for you says the Lord.” I was filled with so much encouragement to see a little of the plan He is working as He forms me. I was blessed to meet and get to know the hearts of a very mixed group of different men of God, called from very different places to very different things, but all for the glory of God and all striving for faithfulness. The possibility of working with the Spanish ministry in Woodstock was mentioned to me, and it is something I would like to look into. So please join me in praying for that.

“I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jer. 29:25 (the mixed version of my mind)

The next step of the journey took me to El Salvador where I took part for two weeks of a evangelistic missions trip. I love very much  the team there in El Salvador, dear people, who are a lot of fun and love the Lord and have a vision for their country. I worked with the local Word of Life missionaries, Word of Life’s 2010-2011 ensembles, and some new friends from a short term missions group called Student Fusion for high schoolers, and my wonderful big sister. I was blessed and encouraged by basically everyone on that trip: the passion of the BI students, simply the loving friendship I share with my sister, the openness of the high schoolers

Ps 119:125

...back to America. I was headed for 4 days off in New York City before heading to the Island summer camp to be a counselor. A Volcano erupted in Chile stranding my New York friend in Argentina. So, I became stranded without a plan and without a phone at JFK International Airport. I started meeting great people and borrowing their phones. My wonderful mother helped greatly. Through that I got some wonderful witnessing opportunities, and I got to see God’s provision... (although I don’t recommend traveling without a backup plan).. ended up in Pennsylvania, and it was a blessed time of rest. Also, a visit to a local church again reminded me that is where my heart is. =]

“all things work together for good…”

I worked the next 5 weeks on the Island as a counselor, got to see some great old friends, and make new ones. I probably worked with about 100 campers over the course of the summer getting to know their stories, trying to meet them where they were at and encourage them toward the next step. I love camp. It is like biblical church discipleship but in very weird turbo strip format. Loved my ministry, loved my campers, met some great Koreans, and wonderful Spanish people.  Being in camp ministry again did again leave my heart longing for the more “normal” and long term relationships that can take place in a local church; its hard to let them in, love on them and see them go in a week…. Week after week…

But the lesson in this time came in the fact that my heart wasn’t right. I think I had left it in El Pastito with my friends in Argentina and in El Salvador with the missionaries there, and as the homesick 13 year old crying over missing his dog… I didn’t have compassion.  And God convicted me. Sure the faces of needs in the United States take different faces  from some of those in other countries, but the spiritual needs are just as great and at times harder to get to… God convicted me through Romans. If this is where he has me there is a purpose. These are after all those for whom Christ died…

“…for obedience of faith among ALL nations, for His name…” Rom 1:5

And now I’m here… in Florida. I now work with Word of Life Florida as one of the Assistant Deans, which may sound impressive perhaps, but is really just like a year long counselor.  =] But God is honestly growing me through it. So many of these student are going through so much,... come with such complicated and broken stories. Praise God that the gospel is sufficient to reach and to save any because surely here my wisdom is often lacking in how to help these students other than learning to earnestly pray for them. Pray for them please. I have started to attend a Spanish church to learn about what that ministry looks like here, I will be here till May at the very least… God knows, we will see.

Please pray wisdom for me.

“Over pray things, Don’t over think things”

The Life Lately Update

I was just reading in my quite time in chapter 4 of Philippians. As Paul thanks the church in Philipi for their support, he speaks of how fruit has been added to THEIR account. Pondering on the thought that those who send and support in prayer are equally a part of the work and fruit, I wanted to thank all of you who have kept me in your thoughts and prayers. Also, this morning it’s raining, and here when it rains life kinda stops. I guess that is the natural response in a culture in which walking, not cars, is the way to get from point A to point B especially when you work with the church El Pastito, (literally-little grass), which the members affectionately call El Barito, (literally – little mud pit), after a good rain fall.

So where have I been?

Let’s see, I have finished the summer camp ministry during which I was a pot washer. It was so exciting and encouraging to hear the testimonies and end of summer review, and the numbers and numbers of campers who had, at the very least, the Great News, and many of which expressed a desire to accept it personally.

During that time I was in my Spanish class, where we were cramming together the last chapters trying to complete the key Spanish concepts before the Institute 2011 started. After camp we had one month to fit it all in. Praise the Lord it is over, and we aren’t still studying Spanish grammar. Praise the Lord I passed. And praise Him that amongst all that time of study and work we found a week to goof off for vacation.

For vacation we packed up 28 of the 31 PBB’ers (that’s what those of us who are trying to learn Spanish are called. You know how Christian ministries love acronyms) with which we started the year into a large blue bus and headed on a 22 hour bus ride to south west Argentina to the province of Neuquen where Word of Life has another property.  They run a ministry similar to The Inn of New York, but in the Andes Mountains. That time in God’s creation, to see how far He had brought me in this journey, was such a blessing. It was also there where I got to share the gospel by my-self in Spanish having confidence I was being understood. God is growing in me slowly but surely more boldness in sharing the gospel, especially in Spanish. In English I always had an arsenal of excuses why it wasn’t best for me to share with this person. But now, here, I always have the thought, “Well this is why I learned Spanish for crying out loud!”  pushing me to talk with people. If only I had learned sooner and applied that this is why I have breath in any language.

                “Let everything that has breath praise the Lord”

Please be praying for me that the Lord would make me bold, wise, and innocent in sharing the Gospel… always.

Once we finished Spanish classes, we had a week and a half in which we all were free to find ministries in which we could involve ourselves.  We sent out across South America. Some spent the time in Bolivia, others Uruguay, and others went back towards Neuquen on different evangelism campaigns. I had the pleasure of getting to know a small church in Buenos Aries named Hiacaninda (if you can’t pronounce that don’t sweat it. It’s really hard for me, and I’m almost certain that is spelled wrong. It’s a tree name that is all you… well actually you don’t really need to know.) There God gave me my first opportunity to preach in Spanish to the youth group in a lock-in event. (I preached at 3 in the morning… Spanish is hard at 3 in the morning.)

It is only by the grace of God I can speak and communicate in Spanish somewhat efficiently. (I proved my language aptitude where I barely passed level one Spanish at Centreville, and by the fact I landed in Basic one Spanish here in PBB- which basically says, “Why the heck do you live in Argentina?!? You have no idea what you are doing!”) But God meets me every time there is an opportunity I have the blessing of being part of. Generally, the next few days He reminds me that I have SOOOO much to learn when it comes to Spanish. (Who knows, maybe in that regard the Lord is still working in the gift of tongues. joke joke…kinda =])

The next experience was an evangelism campaign in which Bethel Baptist Church of Virginia came to canvas the neighborhood, preaching door to door. I went as a translator. (I was skeptic of my ability to translate and little nervous, but confident that God provide all at the same time.) So, a whole bunch of gringos hit the neighborhood with full force, some of them being lead by other gringos, (almost the blind leading the blind). But the Lord, in spite of our limitations, brought forth fruit and blessing from that week.

I developed a friendship with the Pastor and the church, and they were generous enough to invite me to do my weekend ministry at their church, (because I’ll be leaving Argentina in just two months, something the institute normally doesn’t allow, making this a answer to prayer).  And like that, I ended up here at El Pastito for my weekend ministry. I am working with the youth group organizing Bible Clubs and starting discipleship relationships with the students.

Oh yes, and in the mean time we have started classes and are in full swing at the institute. Next week is out first exam. and my first Bible exam in Spanish…. You can pray if you want =]

For the ministry here at El Pastito I ask you to be praying for three people in particular. 


Christian – a young man who has stated he is a Christian however is just recently leaving the world of drugs and crime. Now to leave behind his addictions and be a light in the neighborhood where he has robbed various members of the community is quite the task that lies ahead of him. I simply want to see him growing and not fall back into where the Lord is pulling him out of. 


Alexis- a young man I met during the campaign and was able to help one of the young people from Bethel share the gospel with. He understood much of the gospel and has expressed a sincere desire to know more. He is attending a church however, that preaches a work based salvation and the concepts in his mind our mixing. 


Cariña- is not a believer, and is greatly struggling with a problem with drugs but has expressed what appeared to me a true desire to change and asked for prayer. ...really hope to see her family reached through her… first she would have to be reached. Such a sweet young person so hurt by her sin.

So on so forth we live out the time here in Argentina. I can’t believe there are less than two months.


The 26^th of June I will already be loading up on a plane leaving Argentina. I won’t be heading directly back to the states. I have a 2 week layover in El Salvador, =] ...also know as a missions trip. I am truly very excited. The idea is I will be going to help out with translating. Be praying for my Spanish to continue to grow and progress. In El Salvador I will be joining up with the ensemble from WOL FL and possibly my lovely sister.

After those two weeks in El Salvador, it will be off to New York where I will work the last 5 weeks of summer camp on the Island as a counselor. At least that is my current plan, desire, and plane ticket.

As far ahead as I can tell for now, the following fall I will be working in WOL FL on their Dean Staff as an assistant dean continuing to learn, discipling students, pouring into an important relationship in my life, and starting to pay off my student loan from my first year with WOL in FL.

Be praying for the continued guidance and provision from the Lord throughout this journey of life in the steps I have daily. Most of all pray for consistency and faithfulness to be grown in to my life and character that I may not be easily shaken.

Thank you so much for taking the time to remember me. I am praying for you as well.  God bless.

P.S.  I am praying for your comment to be as honest as possible. So aside from the general prayers for loved ones and my church family please feel free to share as well with me.  I don’t promise to respond quickly to messages, but I do purpose to be praying for the senders as I receive notes.

Boulders of Misconception

I was sitting in this year’s first “UME” meeting (UME is Students United for Missions… but in Spanish so it’s actually an acronym) listening to various people share from the mixture of countries represented about the spiritual needs of the countries. The idea is to have the students band together with people with similar burdens on their hearts for varying countries and to pray. Also, they organize offerings and missions trips and thing of that sort. The way it has often played out in years past is many students choose to actually work in the field they have been praying for. Just like that some timid Bolivian can end up boldly preaching the gospel to a closed country in the east… that is the idea, and it actually has a tendency of happening...which is cool.

So, I sat in the commencement of said meeting as we sang songs about the needs and the going.  I thought once again “I wanna go. I wanna be a goer. There are so many needs, and I want to reach in so many places and I wanna go. If only I was in such and such a place really doing something. If I had…”

So our thoughts can flow. Mine flow from time to time in that manner. ...starting in a good place, but as they flow down the rolling hills of my mind, they hit some boulders of misconception. Sending my little thought river down some mistaken path, ending up making some turgid swamp of thought, discontentment, and inactivity that never should have been, tucked away in some corner of my mind.

(Did you follow that word picture? I hope so. I had fun typing it.)

The boulders of misconception? What are they? Don’t know them all. But in my mind there are so many to choose from. Here are a few:

-The will of God is a place. (which I will be located someday, but sadly not where I am located now)
-Once I make it to said will of God-land, things will be better. (things will be right, I will be the man I am supposed to be, and be ready)
- I’ve just gotta make it through this place which is a little bit less interesting exciting and
spiritual than what I’m really made for. (expecting too much in life, or ministry)
-Thinking I am the one Christian God just isn’t that interested in walking with or using today. (expecting too little in our spiritual lives or ministry)

Well, I don’t exactly voice it like that because if I did (or we did) I (or we) would have to accept the fact that my (or our) reasoning… is off.

As I stood in the meeting singing and thinking, “I wanna go, I wanna go, I wanna go, just send me somewhere. I’ll be faithful. I promise.” I had the delightful realization… “You’re somewhere, now be faithful.”

In Matthew 25: 14-30 the Lord gives a parable (I think you should read it… maybe the whole chapter just for fun) but the thought is this:

We must be faithful in the little, and He will entrust us with more.

I live in Argentina and study the word of God every day. I leave every weekend to work in a ministry in a young church in a poor neighborhood. I pass by people every day...Christians that need encouragement, and lost who need to hear.

Here is another thing I am sometimes wrong in thinking:

                -The will of God is a full ministry schedule. (what I do.)

But his will is more about who we are day by day and how we live, than about what we do, or where we are.

“This is the will of God, your sanctification…” I Thess 4:3

(or 1 Thess. 5:18, or start looking through the word of God on your own for what is the will of God for your life. Because He has actually told us! Which is really, really cool!)

Exciting news! As a child of God every day I have the opportunity to do the will of God, as I live in obedience to Him.

Exciting news, if you are a child of God, you do too!

You live in ___(insert  country, state, town here)____. You can study the word of God every day. You have ___(insert church or other ministry option you have in front of you there)___ to serve God in and grow through in ___(your town again)___. And you pass people every day, Christians that need encouragement, and lost ones who need to hear. And God wants to use you. More than he wants to use you He wants to know you and have more intimacy and have us be more sanctified and “set apart” unto Him.

This thought has been in my head awhile. I love you all so much. Thank you who are reading this from home, thank you for taking interest in my life and lifting me up in your prayers. So many people have been an encouragement and examples to me, and are being spent where God has placed you.

Some of you have said to me, “I’m so proud of you. I’m so glad you can follow the Lord like that and go to another country.”

I want it to be said. I am not necessarily in the will of God by being in Argentina. I have an everyday every moment the opportunity and option to obey God. I just chose this year because I felt like it was a great opportunity in which I felt that I would grow, be better equipped, and the Lord could be pleased. I feel like His provision has been an encouragement it was a pretty good choice.

But this is just what God is doing in my life right now. He has me in Argentina. And he has you in ________. If you are supposed to be in Argentina or another place why haven’t you left yet? But if the Lord  isn’t calling you to another place and you’re not fighting Him on something like that. Where does He have you? And why?

I feel like as Christian  we have a tendency to waste a lot of time thinking of what our life with God could and would be like if… . As if those missionaries in a foreign country have a little advantage before Jesus and because they are one of a special few who really, really get to follow and know Him.

When in reality that is the desire of the Lord for each one of His children.

Will we say “Here am I Lord send me” and then realize we have already been sent. "Go ye into all the world and make disciples of all nations."

How does the great commission look in my life? Today?

P.S. (I'll talk the next time I get a chance to write a bit.  I'll try and make it sooner- to update you all a little on the whos whats and wheres of my life right now, and in the near furture)

The Fires Of Life

I would like to be able to catch all of you out there in the cyber world of every detail of the past two months of my life: friends, family, creepers, that one guys who’s not a creeper but just really really bored, and identity thieves. I wish I could give an exhaustive report of the blessings and trials that have come, and share all the stories with wit, and wisdom. But sadly as my Spanish grows I feel as if my English is diminishing… yeah we’ll use that excuse. =] for all of those who “remember when” I can always remember later so let me tell you of my present in brief, share a few thoughts and let you get back to the cyber surfing.

I am currently  working in Argentina in a youth camp. I wash pots. I’m trying to learn Spanish.  Life is interesting…

Two Sundays ago a storage building here caught fire and our morning meeting was interrupted by everyone running outside to see what was happening. The whole building was up in flames and too far gone by the time the fire fighters (bomberos? I think it is in Spanish) arrived. We watched a surreal scene as the smoke filled the air, and tears fill the eyes of our new and dear friends who had poured their lives and ministry into the things that filled that building. Countless hours of work, various stories of how God had provided specific requests perform the drama, and camp ministries that yearly reached out to thousands around South America with the gospel, many years of love offerings all up in smoke and gone in less than a few hours.

The fire brought with it many questions to the minds of many of the students struggling to understand, mostly a simple, “Why? What is God doing in this?”  The gringos attempted to do what we could; going around encouraging and praying with friends. For me, I felt how although I am here and starting to adapt, I could easily feel my distinction from the Latin students. Sure it was sad and I didn’t fully understand, but for many of them it stuck so much deeper at the core … this was their lives? Why?

One thought kept coming to my mind. “God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.” The same God we had just praised for the salvation of many was alive and well, this had not taken Him by surprise. It was said countless times that day “God will be glorified” and it was true. He was, because He is glorious. The greatest tragedy is another opportunity for Him to prove Himself strong.

Our camp director echoed and with conviction said what the most of us were thinking  saying, and…well…. Almost believing. Yet he said it with conviction. “Praise God, He is sovereign…” and then the thought I hadn’t come to yet, “how can we weep over what I’ve lost?  We truly never had anything.” He assured us we had never had the barn or the things but that it was and had always been the Lord, we didn’t lose anything, God just simply didn’t have THAT barn anymore, however, His riches were in no way diminished.

I have started studying I Peter with a friend and we came across this verse. 1:6,7

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not see you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.”

Praise the Lord! Our faith is tested by the fires of trials in this life, IF NESSICARY! … hmmm

An encouraging thought when you feel the heat of difficult circumstances...

An honest update… this is at times difficult. This has been a growing and rich time in my life and I’m so glad to be where I feel confident the Lord wants me. If I could rewrite my life story making changes I would certainly leave in this chapter of learning the Spanish language… but I wouldn’t relive my  few months full of confusion just for fun =]

As my ability with the language grows this time becomes… well I’m enjoying it significantly more.

Praise the God who sustains us through deserts and leads us into the times of rich blessing… and then when necessary through another desert. =]